My article is about anger, which unfortunately I am somewhat of an expert in! For most of my life I have been a very angry person. I have felt such intense anger it has felt almost unbearable (though luckily I have not caused serious harm to anyone……..yet!). I have felt anger at all manner of things from hearing noisy planes flying overhead to people criticising me and witnessing inefficient/corrupt governments.
In the past I have felt deeply ashamed of my anger. Somehow I had this belief that there was something wrong with me for being angry and I hated myself for being angry. I tried so hard not to be angry, but all this did was make me even angrier. I also pretended to myself I wasn’t an angry person (Actually I have to admit I still do this – I recently had a reiki healing and the therapist kept talking about all this anger she could feel which I denied only to realise later she was right!).
Today I have a greater understanding of my anger and I am not so hard on myself. Actually I think I do very well to deal with all the anger. One thing I have become aware of is that I have a lot of deeply buried anger within me. The buried anger is shown in my astrological natal chart where I have Mars in Scorpio opposite the Moon in Aries. Sometimes I need to get angry to release the deep buried anger and actually it is a good thing. When I say releasing anger I mean allowing myself to feel the anger and I have discovered it is not going to kill me even if it is not pleasant. I also do things like write the most disgusting things (burning it later on), going for a walk in the woods and taking the Bach flower essence holly.
I have not mastered my anger and sometimes I just have to let myself get angry. However I am a lot better at handling it and I am proud of myself for the progress I have made. I am sure one day (when I am very old) anger will not be such a problem for me and I will keep working at it.