I have had this recurring incident from my childhood pop up in my consciousness from time to time, it began once I opened the door to my metaphysical journey. I guess it is one of the events that surfaces as one begins to contemplate their actions from the past from a different perspective.
I was about 12 years old and I was very blessed in my childhood to be very good at my sports. I had grown up in a neighborhood that I was the youngest by 1 to 2 years from all my playmates. This set the stage for me to enjoy much success when I competed against those my age. I can honestly say, maybe more success than I deserved, but then again there are no accidents if we fully embrace things metaphysically; only experiences to learn from.
On this particular day, I was playing in a baseball game. I was the star shortstop for my team. This position was where all the action was out in the field. But, my real want was to be able to pitch. Just like life, we tend to always want what we don’t have at the moment.
On this day, we reached the end of a very close game and when my good buddy Dan couldn’t pitch anymore, they decided to let me pitch. Maybe I manifested it! LOL, but my dream did come true. So in I come to pitch the last inning of the game of which we were leading by 1 run. You may see where this is going, but hang with me.
The young man that replaced me at shortstop happened to be the new kid on the team from another part of town. He had come to the team with expectations that he would be the shortstop only to run into a brick wall called Alan who had been playing shortstop for this group of kids for the last 5 years.
The inning started well as I struck out the 1st batter. The next batter got a legitimate hit into the outfield and then things proceeded to not go according to what I had planned. A routine ground ball was hit to the shortstop and it proceeded to bounce through his legs into the outfield. This event was then duplicated 2 more times in succession and we lost the game. Did I mention that the team we were playing was our schoolyard rivals!
Needless to say, a lot of pent up emotion built up as this inning unfolded. With the first ball between the legs no problem, the second one induced a pretty intense stare on my part, the 3rd one, which lost us the game didn’t go to well.
As our rivals celebrated their unexpected good fortune, I walked out to the young man playing shortstop and it doesn’t take much contemplation to realize that I let my emotions get the best of me that day. I didn’t take the time to contemplate that he already knew the implications of what had just transpired over the last 10 minutes and that he was already mortally wounded inside without what came out of my mouth. I didn’t consider that the Universe had given me just what I yearned for in allowing me to pitch that day, so why did I let ancillary things such as winning the game spoil it?
To this day, close to 49 years later I can still see the situation unfolding. Honestly, I am having trouble even recalling his name, but so often our learning is about lessons, not specific individuals. I have written him energy-releasing letters and contemplated the aforementioned situation many times since opening my metaphysical door some 10-12 years ago. I am sure we can all relate to situations like this in our past. The question is, what to do with them?
First and foremost, start with forgiving yourself. Learn and grow from the experience, don’t handicap yourself as your lower self-aspect tries to hold you back by emotionally blackmailing you with guilt associated with a past incident that you can’t change. You made a choice at the time with the knowledge that you had in the circumstances that surrounded you in that instance of time. It may sound too simple, but in fact it is that simple. If you don’t let your lower self hold you hostage to the emotions of that moment and permit the higher self to allow you to envision it free from emotion, only then can you truly learn and grow from the experience the Universe provided in the first place.
There are so many scenarios that could be played out that created the situation in the first place. Who knows, maybe your actions, as bad as they appear to you in review were just karmic payback from a similar incident that you had with this individual and now the shoe is on the other foot. How do you not know that the incident was not there for you to learn from when the time was right to show you how detrimental emotions can be. Maybe this individual placed this incident into his curriculum of life to assist him sometime later in his life. Who knows …?
The scenarios relating to our experiences are endless, but they are just experiences that hopefully we can learn from. Don’t let yourself fall into a guilt trap around the emotions that in the end will just paralyze your soul growth and limit your experience in the Game-of-Life. Remember, Emotions feed the Self, Experiences feed the Soul! What do you want to eat?