Death of the Ego
by Laura Elliott
Happy September everyone! It’s hard to believe it, but fall will start this month! The hot summer days will be past us (in the Northern Hemisphere) and we can get back to the usual Seattle sprinkles. 😊 I know some of you hate seeing the clouds and rain return, but for a native South Westerner I look forward to the cooler weather and the fresh smell of the rain mixing with the dry soil.
I find myself this month thinking on the Ego and the process of the “death of the Ego” that’s been occurring for me over the past few years. I thought that I’d killed off my Ego when I left the career I’d had for 27 years. But the past few days I’ve been thinking perhaps I hadn’t totally killed it and buried it, but maybe only seriously wounded it, and now I’m getting a chance to finish it off for good LOL.
The last job in my career that I had challenged me to look at where I was searching for my self-worth and personal value. That job was at a new location, doing basically the same thing I’d been doing for 26 years, but this location did things differently than I was used to. I was a little older and I knew that learning in this field could be difficult for older learners. I know that because I was a trainer at my previous location for 10 years and I’d seen the older learners struggle, and often times not succeed. They hadn’t had prior experience in the field though, so I thought it should be no problem for me, even though I was older, to learn how a new location functioned. I fully expected to be completely successful! How could I not with 26 years of experience behind me? That was my Ego talking to me.
It was always important for me to succeed in this field, I realized with 20/20 hindsight, because it was also my dad’s chosen career path, and I wanted my parents to be proud of me. As I write this, I’m realizing that I was still searching for my parent’s attention and approval even though I’d been an adult for a long time. But while I was still at this job I’d had a reading from another psychic and he gave me some very valuable information. He said that the attention we receive, or don’t receive, from our parents growing up directly translates to our ability to find self-worth and value from within ourselves. That was a part of what got me thinking about different situations in my life while I was growing up. This isn’t always comfortable, or something that we want to spend our time doing. However, our Higher Self and Guides give us these thoughts so that we may choose to look at what they’re showing us so that we may heal it. Usually we ask ourselves, “why am I thinking about this?”, and when it’s not something pleasant, we just stuff it back down and try to forget about it again. It becomes a part of our “story” that the Angels were talking about in the last newsletter, and some really thrive on holding onto their stories. However, the Angels challenged me to turn and face what was uncomfortable, so that I could view it through the eyes of the adult that I am now. They always say perspective is everything, and it really is.
So, I looked at the first situation they put in front of me, then I looked at the next, and the next, and the next. What that allowed me to do was to recognize that the information the psychic gave me really was key for me to releasing all this stored energy that had been weighing me down since I was a kid. It wasn’t about finding fault or blame with my parent’s, in fact what they gave me was a gift of an experience that I’d asked for when planning to come to the Earth plane. So, by accepting the Angels challenge to look at what they were putting before me, and choosing to dig even a little deeper, I was able to recognize that those experiences in my life as a child were a gift of an opportunity to become aware of the energy that was affecting me and to make a conscious choice to heal it. I couldn’t have done this without them!
So back to the job at the last location in my career. What began with the information the psychic gave me, progressed to realizing I’d been looking for self-worth from my career and how my peers perceived my aptitude at doing my job. I now realized I’d learned to look outside of myself for these things because I’d felt invisible to my parents. With that information I could now re-parent myself. Meaning, I could love and forgive myself for all the years spent in looking for love and acceptance outside of myself, and moving forward, do it differently; make different conscious choices.
When we’re looking for love and acceptance outside of ourselves, we’re always going to end up being disappointed. Looking for validation and self-worth from external sources will never work because it’s dependent on something outside of ourselves, and we have no control over anything outside of ourselves. The world around us is meant to be a mirror that reflects back to us how we see ourselves, not how others see us. The universe does this so that we will have the opportunity to recognize how we feel about ourselves, and in recognizing it, have the opportunity to change it. But we’ve always misunderstood and thought that what we were seeing was how the world felt about us. It’s just like looking in the mirror before you leave the house; if the mirror is showing you something stuck to your face, you’re able to make an adjustment and remove it and the mirror then reflects the new image. The Universe works in the same way. If we realize that we’re actually looking in a mirror when we’re looking at the world around us, we can stop and choose to make adjustments to our inner landscape, or how we feel about ourselves. After we make the adjustment, the mirror reflects the new image. The outer world is a reflection of our inner world. So, when we change our inner world the outer world changes to reflect the changes we’ve made within, just like the physical mirror reflects our physical form and the changes we make to it.
Back to the point regarding thoughts about the destruction of my Ego I’ve been having lately, and it not being totally killed off yet. I’m not enjoying the job I’ve been doing the past couple of years, and I’ve been asking my Higher Self and the Angels when I might be able to move on to finally doing something that I love doing. I said, “I could leave on good terms, I wouldn’t have to be fired or anything. I don’t need a TOTAL destruction of my Ego, do I?”. I immediately heard, “YES, you do!” and I had to laugh at myself. Here I am trying to negotiate to keep at least a little part of my Ego intact when I’ve been working on its total destruction for years LOL.
Once we think we’ve changed an old habit, and learned from an experience what we think we wanted to learn, the Universe will always bring the situation around again to see if we really did learn it or not. So, my current job may be my opportunity to see if I really did learn where I should be looking for my self-worth and value or not, and if I’m able to ignore my Ego in that regard. Keep your fingers crossed for me that it goes well and I’m able to move forward with grace and understanding from my current job when the time comes. Will I be too attached to what my managers think of me and my job performance (Ego), or will I recognize that the only true Self-Worth and Value comes from within me (Higher Self)? Stay tuned and see!
Laura Elliott is an intuitive clairvoyant and published author. She offers private consultations, classes, and coaching. Her aim is to help clients find clarity, strengthen their own inner guidance, and reach personal spiritual growth. She currently offers a 3 Week Metaphysical Course for one-on-one coaching with her and the Angels. You can find more information on beginning this course at Laura’s website www.messagingwithangels.com. You can also find Laura on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube (messaging with angels), Twitter (@MessagingAngels), and TikTok (laura_angelwhisperer). Her book With Love, From Your Angels – Tools and Knowledge to Help You Transcend This Human Experience (Balboa Press) is now available in print and eBook directly from the publisher at www.BalboaPress.com or from www.Amazon.com.