The January Lunar eclipse in Cancer and big bang Saturn Pluto conjunction in Capricorn on my 10th /4th axis has shaken my inner and emotional stability in the most powerful way. All my hurt and blame towards others, and my ego self expectations were shattered into pieces.  It seemed like there was no way out, other than going up. Rebirth and new direction are my only option.

I actually feel relieved and 10 lbs. lighter, like I moved a heavy garbage can off my back. Facing down my most intimate fear of loosing stability and victim and servant archetype- seeing through out the pattern of my life experience was beautiful, revealing and painful. So painful that I enjoyed the final moments of pain knowing that this is the final thorn. It reminds me of delivering my baby- crucifying pain, but excited knowing that something new, and beautiful is coming! New life, new responsibilities and new opportunities. I am to become a nurturing mother and protector of my very own self!

What a wonderful manifestation of powerful Ceres in Leo in my 10th house! Ceres is showing us how we would like to be nurtured and indulged and this one in Leo showed me a new powerful way of thinking- I have to take my power back, and I feel grateful having my parents, partners and assistants through this journey of life leading me to this important ingredient in my life.

We are the only ones responsible for our life and growth.

There is no one else to be blamed for your experiences, but yourself. It is very easy to be stuck in circumstances which are repeating over and over, crying in self-pity and living in constant hurt, fear and doubt. Sometimes it can feel comforting thinking that this is life, it is as it is, there is no way to change it, it is our destiny or our family karma…our Lower self is capable of finding hundreds of easygoing explanations as to why we have to live as we live. It is so easy living your Victim archetype pattern. And yes, it is also scary finding out that you don’t have to! Yes, you don’t need to be a Victim of circumstances, family expectations or life experiences.  Your past doesn’t have to kill your optimism or desire for a better life.

We are the manifestors and creators of our lives and the more we remove layers of past life patterns, the more we can breathe easier and feel more alive.

Breathe in the light.  Exhale out the darkness.

Change your expectations, forgive yourself and step into another reality- this time the one that you will consciously create!