James Bond’s Fly on the Wall

This last day in August began as usual- with an annoying fly that has been bothering me every morning since I came to visit my parental home. She has been punctual like an alarm clock every single morning as if someone told her that her life mission is to wake me before everyone else in my busy household. Perhaps she has been guided to do her mission even though I stubbornly and angrily continue to kill her each day. But she has been coming back each morning reincarnated into a more annoying and more smart existence day after day. Morning after morning. Sometimes she escapes and sometimes she dies. But she doesn’t mind.

I sat with my coffee this morning trying to calm myself down, clicked on Maitreya’s app and started with guidance. My thoughts were rushing even though I’m sleep deprived and annoyed that I missed a good portion of a James Bond movie last night. And now this annoying fly kicked me out of my cozy bed. Suddenly I connected some dots.

The fly has been metaphorically reminding me about one metaphysical truth in particular. Everything repeats itself until the lesson is learned. If we continue to react in the same way as usual, we can’t expect a different outcome.

I already wrote about my great expectations of a grandiose summer vacation with plans to travel, rest and enjoy every single day away from my house since Covid started. I came tired and anxious, but with great confidence in my self improvement and new skills in coping with my, what appears like my life lesson- acceptance in being different from everyone else. My fingers run from writing the next sentence, but I’m writing nevertheless this next statement: I failed in compassion, non-criticism, and nonjudgmental behavior. I failed in being better than everyone else.

Retrospection comes along.

Who told me I must be better than others? Where and when did this dangerous obsession start? With whom am I’m competing with? What do I think I have to prove anyway?

If I already know that this energy known as God loves me the same way as he loves others who are more, or less perfect than me, that it doesn’t judge us in the way we think it does, that it will continue to support our evolution, nevertheless?

Am I trying to reach my more advanced soul tribe’s position?

Sometimes I feel I’ve been thrown here on Earth with a mission impossible task and sometimes I do feel like that fictional character of James Bond who has more skills, gadgets, and knowledge than I’ll ever have. At least he knows his “frenemies” and finds a way to cope with his weaknesses along the way with dignity and great clothes. He is fearless, brave, and jumps from the plane, knows how to drive, and ski and dive through any sudden danger in his way.

It appears he has his well-known role on his missions, but I can’t but wonder if that fly on my wall has the same secret mission? It appears that she has his determination for sure.

I’ll just have to wait until tomorrow morning to see if she’ll offer me a Martini, or at least make me some coffee!