The topic of forgiveness is not easy to approach as each person has different expression of it from their individual healing process. Yet someone’s reading about someone else’s forgiving process could bring in some reason to look with a renewed faith towards their our own healing.
It felt like the hurt I had been through was relentless and taunting even as I travelled around to different countries. The hurt that originated from my immediately family and my childhood experiences couldn’t be shaken. But I thought it would never backfire as long as I could hide my pain, which I had been doing since childhood. But beliefs created from my harm from childhood seem to interfere as I raise my own children. Thoughts seem to pop out as an expression, especially around my daughter. My daughter, like a rainbow, by which I mean as if placed by Sprint to pull my strings, mirror, and teach me what I need to be aware of in the moment. It may not be obvious to me when I am going through an argument with her, but boy, does she bring out some stuff for me to clear! I thought if I would have healed, I would have smoother days and save energy from these arguments? These days things from my past with regards to my son have stirred up. It felt like a tornado of emotions. Thanks to Jean for her teaching and healing so I can have faith in healing myself. She also said that I need to forgive people in my past.
So, what is there to forgive, the person who hurt me is not looking for my forgiveness! What is the point, how could it possibly unhook and release me from this part of my hurt? The Self makes it feel like forgiveness is not possible for what happened me. Yet, I wanted to see what is possible? As confirmation I also got Maitreya’s wisdom card about forgiveness. Thanks for Dennis to remind to not to give energy to the Self, which I often forget. Whenever I feel the past emotions, after I cry and release, I had a choice to think ‘poor me’ or ‘something else’. I had been in poor me for so long it only seemed to weaken me. What is that ‘something else’? It is to merge with the vastness I truly am. I questioned myself if I am really that vast. If not, then where did I come from? The Creation. What is the center of created beings? The same thing, Spirit. So, if it is all same thing, where is the possibility that one person has more power than another? So how can I think that the person who hurt me has power over me? Isn’t it the point of pain, that I felt powerless when I was hurt by this person? Is this powerless feeling real in the realm of our Spirits? My Spirit is totally unique in the vastness of creation, so is everyone else’s including the person who hurt me. Our uniqueness is a token of love from creation. Uniqueness serves for accountability of energy, as we walk on earth with the Self there and with our emotional body. So, each of our unique energy’s accounts are separate and karma seems to play a role in keeping our individual energy balance to zero. The creator is aware of all this, and just the very thought of this could move me into my higher state of consciousness. With all that said, the hook that is holding me back and not letting me release my pain, what is it? It is the Self, because, it is not certainly the vastness experience. I seem to go through multiple iterations taking away control from the Self. The more I spend time being in Mother Nature, my heart experiences her kindness and that keeps me a live each day. So, forgiveness is nothing new, I am not inventing anything new here, the trees feel pain as they are pruned but they stand in their truth which makes me feel they are much wiser siblings. It takes faith in creation to realize that we are always loved and blessed, our Spirit lasts forever, and all energy evens out. Once I have enough trust in creation and intention to move on, I call upon the Divine Spirit’s presence, I then have the strength to face the person who has hurt me either in person, or in writing, or in visualization to communicate what I felt, why I am ready to move on, and I finally cut the cords and see the hook in my heart fall off. Spirit’s guidance can be felt as we deeply trust in the Divine for its understanding and grace. It feels as if I came full circle with this one issue. The feeling of knowing that healing is possible for the very hurt that once felt impossible is enlightening.
There are many more things I need to forgive, but I take this one light I have with me now with faith that when I need healing in the future, it will be freely available to me from spirit, regardless of whatever the Self talks about. Each time as light gets added, life gets a bit smoother as well.😊🌹💖
Thank you for your time in reading this article. Have a great day!