After my recent surgery the doctors said my recovery should be immediate, which did not happen. I used the medication prescribed and was very disciplined in my diet to get my body to respond and recover. My body did respond initially but then kept regressing or new issues arose as a result of the medication. As I was thinking of undergoing the second surgery, I decided to do a past lifetime regression with Jean, and deep emotional wounds were identified which I thought were long forgotten! As part of the release, I did as much as I could to learn about forgiveness and used it to heal my emotions. I felt much betterment after that. Thanks to my work with Jean I didn’t go through another surgery!
As weeks passed I had a feeling that something else was weighing me down, but I didn’t know what it is was. I used to get dreams, and when I woke up it felt as if something had happened for real. My body served as an indicator that something still needed to be dealt with, and it wasn’t just in my mind, it was affecting me on a physical level! Astrologically, my north node is in 12th house along with my Chiron, and I felt it might be time to clear past-life energy, which may assist my body to recover. I become interested in Karen’s articles about past life patterns. I felt like it is not just one past life but may be a whole lot of them as indicated by my dreams, and so my body is trying and trying but it needed help. I began past life discovery sessions with Karen. My dreams started to get wild and full of color and intensity. Sometimes I just have to be at rest, and the flashes kept coming, and I emailed them to Karen. She said it is important to send them to her right away so that the energy can be felt by her, and she can help me. Oh boy, most of my stuff has to do with abandonment by people I trusted, or by religion, or by authority figures. Much abandonment happened in lifetimes when I was a female, and when I needed support, like puberty, pregnancy, marriage or partnership, especially pregnancy and being trapped in an abusive environment. Sometimes I just try to rest, and all of a sudden at the back of my base chakra there are painful cramps, followed by maroon colored flashes of something substantial and solid being released. The cramps waned and completely subsided by themselves as I tried to softly breath through the emotions. It happened again the night before I wrote this article. Karen sent her insights of those particular lifetimes and circumstances. I came to know that the energy is due to unsuccessful pregnancies, due to lack of medical support, social support, and violence, which sometimes is hard to even to talk about, and death. All of these come under the victim pattern. As I learned about it, it is hard for me to love my body, as there is a deep-seated pain that my body made me the victim. On some days I couldn’t even utter the positive affirmation ‘I love my body’. There is an unworthiness and disbelief with the victim pattern that anything good would ever happen. It is like a thorn in my heart, with a constant feeling that something might go wrong, and happiness is not meant for me. When I realized this, I felt Karen literally saved me by helping me see what is going on with me. I was thinking about the cramps I experienced last night, and the Medical Medium’s insights on how the body does everything it can to keep us alive. It is like an army of antibodies rushing to a wound, the body is an amazing system and it looks for no glory and does everything it can in silence. I felt like the body is ready to go through so much if necessary for soul to growth. I felt that my body is my eternal lover, and great friend indeed. My body is not just my baby that needs to be taken care of like I mentioned in my last article, it is also like a mother to me that fights back and never gives up on me until the very end. Maybe I can even take a peek at understanding aspects of the Divine Mother through my body, whom I distanced myself from all these years. I observed that this renewed thought about my body having the power to take down victimhood and make it disintegrate. My body feels light and less painful as I express my love for it. I want to thank Spirit for being as gentle as possible, to me, that is love. With this love and support I have now, I am working on my worthiness and allowing the past to surface and be released.
Here’s to new beginnings! Much gratitude to my teacher Karen. Many thanks to Jean for being there for me when needed and for making Maitreya’s teachings available.
Wish you all very happy and joyful New Year 2018!