(Mis)using Love to Hide Our Issues

While love is certainly a powerful tool for healing ourselves, it can at times also be misused and get in the very way of healing ourselves.

For instance, when our nice and friendly demeanor has become but a facade enacted for the purpose of seeking approval or acceptance from others, so too would our niceness and friendliness become but a fear-based kind of love — a love that we could feel has an undertone of fear in it and is unwittingly serving as an unlikely hideout for the energy of fear and our self-worth issue.

Not that we shouldn’t be nice, after all, being happy is a byproduct of being nice and being nice is in turn a byproduct of being happy; they reinforce each other and could potentially develop into a virtuous cycle. But true happiness cannot happen when there is an undercurrent of fear in our happiness and niceness.

Second, a zealous focus on loving and helping others can help us forget ourselves (and our issues) and achieve some measure of selflessness and freedom, but in forgetting our issues we are not healing them but only repressing or suppressing them.

And third, even love and positivity can often be employed by us as coping or defense mechanisms to sidestep and block out any emotional pain and fear we find too uncomfortable and hard to bear, or deem too negative and beneath us to be condoned. Not only are such band-aid solutions unable to heal us, they would in fact further aggravate the situation. We are constantly attracting triggers into our life to mirror our issues for us and every time we repress or suppress an emotionally painful experience, we would add a further layer of unprocessed pain and fear to our emotional body which would only render our issues ever more complicated and harder to heal.

Although more of a misunderstanding of fear than a misuse of love, while reveling in the peaceful and blissful vibration of love it can sometimes seem as if we have no more issues, but that’s only because some of our more deep-seated fears and stuck emotions are quite capable of remaining hidden as they go about running our lives surreptitiously and subconsciously, and being our blind spots they would usually also require triggers to bring them to our attention time and time again before we can become aware of them and (hopefully) also take ownership of them.

Love can certainly raise our vibration and assist in healing ourselves. On the other hand, we would also need to face our fears, process our emotions and heal our issues in order to feel more love. It is a chicken and egg thing, and we need a fine balance of both.