About ten years ago I had an astrological reading from Margaret and in it she talked about my creative talent, and ultimately my acting ability. This was news to me. As far as I was concerned I was hopeless at art. I think I had enjoyed it when I was younger, but when I went to secondary school (high school) the art teachers did not see any talent in me and they didn’t encourage me. With all the Virgo energy in my astrological chart and an extreme lack of self-esteem it was easy for me to believe that I was no good at art and I stopped doing any art.
So it was a complete surprise for me to be told that I had creative talent (Jupiter, the Sun and Mercury, though also Saturn, in the 5th house). The first thing I did was audition for a part-time acting school. I had no idea what I was getting into, but I went for it. I had a few training sessions beforehand. In the end, I didn’t pass the acting audition, but the man in charge did pull me aside and said he believed I had talent and to audition again in a year’s time. He did look a bit puzzled when I told him I had only auditioned because of an astrological report!!
From that time I dabbled in art on and off. I did some pencil sketches, and then gave up. I joined a painting class, but was so upset at having to show my work to everyone, I left. I also had private painting lessons of which I gave up. I think basically I kept giving up because I had no belief in my ability.
Finally, I think it was 2009, Margaret and Alan came to London and we met them in a hotel room for a couple of hours. Because of the energy in the room I all of a sudden started thinking, “I want to paint, I want to paint!” This had come out of nowhere. So when I got home I bought some paints and started painting. I didn’t have technique, but the paintings were full of colour and energy, I definitely had some talent. I found painting very therapeutic, and I was able to channel the intense emotions I was experiencing from a toxic relationship (it wasn’t really a relationship!) into the paintings. I was painting a lot of reds, yellows and oranges.
I kept painting (with acrylic paints) and a couple of years later I had developed my style. I always thought creativity should be fun and free flowing, but the style I developed was very structured. And actually when I look at the paintings, I can see a real power in channeling the creativity into a defined shape. My paintings are simple, but powerful and revolve around colour and shape. When I paint everything with the world is great, but when I’m not painting the creative energy builds inside me and my emotions get out of balance. I always feel so much better after painting.
When I first start painting, I have to deal with my self. Actually if I have got my paints out I have already won round 1 with the self! Usually it tells me I can’t be bothered to paint and that can delay me a few days, though when I finally get round to painting and feel really good, I am onto the self and can see what it has done. Then it will tell me I can’t do it, or I panic that I can’t tune into my creativity. But once I have got through that, the energy builds and I feel great. Also I look at some of the paintings I have done and I can see they are powerful. The more I paint, the easier it gets.
I would say if you enjoy art or any creative activity, go for it, even if you don’t think you are very good at it. I still have to deal with my self telling me I am no good, etc, but I can’t tell you how much better I feel after painting. At the moment I am putting together a website – sharonhoffmanart.com – and it will be up at the end of June!