Why Do New Year’s Resolutions Fail? ©
By Dennis Dossett
It’s that time of year again when many of us turn our thoughts—if only for a few moments—to New Year’s resolutions. Whether or not one honestly intends to keep them is another matter entirely! Personally, I have never met anyone who has not admitted to some degree of difficulty in adhering to their New Year’s resolutions, usually accompanied by some comment regarding a “lack of willpower,” “unrealistic goals,” or something else along those lines. But are those the real reasons for failure to keep New Year’s resolutions? I honestly don’t think so.
New Year’s resolutions really are nothing more than a good excuse to exercise an old tradition of intention to manifest something we want in our lives for the coming year. Traditions aside, New Year’s resolutions are all about manifesting and should rigorously follow the same procedures as when trying to manifest anything else. By the way, how are your “regular” manifesting efforts going these days? Are they producing the same effects as your New Year’s resolutions from last year? Well, there are reasons for that (quite a few, actually), but there is one big one that often slips by unnoticed amidst all the manifesting “rigmarole” in which people often engage.
That “big reason” for failure to manifest has to do with thinking/believing that there is something magical about the “words” (including affirmations) one “should be” using to manifest successfully. It’s not the words. It’s all about the vibration (think emotions) that you are experiencing at the moment, including the vibrations that are typically (and especially subconsciously) associated with the words. The fact is that we live in an attraction-based universe, so what we manifest is always a match to our vibration (feelings) regardless of the words we use.
For example, I’m sure you have heard people (maybe even yourself) say that they want to “lose weight” in the coming year. Now one might think that the problem I’m referring to here is the word “weight.” There is absolutely nothing wrong with the word “weight” aside from how one feels about that word, the evaluative connotations one associates with the word. Those evaluative connotations are often carried in adjectives and adverbs that describe a word.
For just a moment, think of the word “weight.” Are your feelings about that word positive or negative? Now think about “excess weight” versus “optimum or healthy weight” versus “lightweight.” Do you feel the difference? Both “excess weight” and “lightweight” have negative connotations (and evoke negative feelings), but “optimum” and “healthy” describing the word “weight” are decidedly more positive. Remember, when you try to manifest something, the Universe responds to your feelings (a.k.a. vibration), not the words themselves.
Now how about “losing weight?” Most people focus on the word “weight” and are probably thinking “excess” or some variation thereof (such as “fat”). That is likely not a positive thought for most people. But what about the word “lose?” Losing something usually implies negativity, as in “lost love,” being a “loser,” or the frustration you feel when you have lost a prized object. These are not positive vibrations. While “losing weight” might overall sound positive, the typical connotations of either word generally are negative and carry the associated vibrations. Think about it. “Loss” or “losing” implies something negative, and that which is lost is usually either searched for, or replaced with something else. “Lost and Found” departments generally are not happy places to visit! So rather than focusing on loss, why not focus on a positive replacement? Rather than “lose weight,” why not focus on how it feels being healthy, how it feels fitting into that special outfit sitting in your closet because you haven’t been able to get into it, or the smile on your face and how it feels when you see your “new body” reflected in the mirror? I would bet that all of those feelings are relatively positive. We live in an attraction-based universe and . . . you get the idea.
Even better is thinking about releasing or letting go of that which does not serve you. Ultimately it is better to let go of excess weight than to lose weight. Think of how free you feel when you release something that no longer serves you. And while you want to reduce your weight, why did you gain it in the first place? Were you subconsciously trying to replace something that was lost (love, self-esteem, etc.) and using food as a comforting replacement? Until you deal with any such feelings of loss or being a “loser,” you are concentrating on the consequences, not the cause or your discomfort. So focus on the cause. Work on releasing any negative emotions, detaching from them, letting them go in order to be free from their influence in your life.
So a major part problem in manifesting really has to do with the way you feel about the words, your vibration when using them. Now if this all sounds like a lot of grammatical and/or lexical chicanery (say that three times fast!), it is really important when it comes to manifesting what you want, whether in the form of everyday desires or those notorious New Year’s resolutions.
Let me give you another, less “trivial” example. I have a friend who is currently battling cancer. On occasion he talks about “losing my cancer” (as if it is something that belongs to him and to which he is attached or wants—at least that’s how the Universe “hears” it because we do live an attraction-based Universe). Well, neither losing something nor having cancer have very positive vibrations. So I suggested that he not refer to “my cancer” and that he hold the image of his “body being free of illness.” I then asked him how that feels. My friend looked a little stunned for a moment, and then had a look on his face as if he were mentally trying it out. “How does that feel?” I asked again. After a brief pause, a broad smile appeared on his previously worried face, and he said “It feels good!” I didn’t ask him to expound further because I could tell from his expression that, intuitively he understood what I was saying. It is as simple as understanding how it feels to live in an attraction-based universe, and that you are in charge of choosing not only your words, but especially the feelings you want to experience. I cannot say for certain that my friend’s body will reject the cancer, but I do know for certain that both the quality of his life and his chances for beating the cancer will be much improved over the coming months if he continues to send out more positive vibrations into the Universe.
In previous editions of this newsletter I have quoted an old song from the late 1930s written by jazz musicians Melvin “Sy” Oliver and James “Trummy” Young:
• “It ain’t what you do, it’s the way how you do it, that’s what gets results! … It ain’t what you say, it’s the way how you say it, that’s what gets results!”
I used to use this song when teaching management classes at the university where I worked. At the time, I thought it was sound advice for managers, but now I understand that it is even more universal in its meaning. It’s just another way of emphasizing that we live in an attraction-based universe, and that the Universe is responding to our vibrational frequency, not our words. The choice of manifesting what we want or not being able to do so is up to us.
• “You’re always getting a perfect vibrational match to what you predominantly give your attention to. But you’ve got to make the best of it. You’ve got to vibrate slightly different from where you are if you are going to improve where you are. You can’t keep taking score of where your business is or your relationship is or your body is without continuing to create it as it is. To make improvement, you’ve got to reach for a different thought [/feeling].” ~ Abraham (Tampa, FL, Dec. 6, 2003)
So keep an eye on the energy of your New Year’s resolutions—and all future manifesting efforts for that matter.
May you manifest a Healthy, Happy, and Prosperous New Year!