In 2011 I stopped praying. I had been a keen prayer for most of my life until then. I was brought up a Catholic and had been taught the Lord’s Prayer and the Rosary and I would say those prayers – especially the Rosary – everyday. I had eventually stopped going to Mass when I got more and more into metaphysics in my late twenties, but I still used those prayers, particularly whenever I was in difficulty, or upset, or needed help, but in May 2011 I stopped. I was flying back to the UK from Seattle after attending the Master of Metaphysics course with Margaret and Maitreya. I had learned and experienced things on that course that I could never have believed before and I understand now writing this that the person who flew back to the UK was not the same person who had flown out.

Just as the plane was about to touch down at Heathrow, it didn’t . . . it suddenly whooshed back up again! I along with many other passengers (I could tell by the gasps) got such a shock. Once we were higher in the air the pilot announced that the plane that had landed before us had not cleared the runway in time so he couldn’t land. My heart was in my mouth as the plane began circling in the air for what seemed like forever waiting for another slot. I suddenly realised that the old me – the one that went out to Seattle just over a week before – would have immediately dived straight into ten Hail Marys, but nothing came. It was like a stream had dried up, or a door had been shut. I felt nothing, no urge to pray, it had gone, although I did feel Spirit’s presence and I knew we’d be ok. I felt strongly it was some kind of test to see how I would react.

The only thing was that in a way I basically stopped praying for good, until three Fridays ago when the attacks took place in Paris. I heard the first reports just as I was going to bed and spent the next hour praying for everyone involved, but this time it wasn’t a Catholic structured prayer, helpful though they can be because I realise now you can still direct energy with them, instead it was basically just “please help them, please help them” over and over, but it was I prayer as far as I see it. I have prayed several times since then, again not using many words and asking for help with something and I have definitely felt that I’ve received an answer to each time whether that be through intuition/knowing, or some synchronicity and it’s given me the encouragement to continue.