Everything in the human world is interconnected. We are all related to someone or something from the very beginning of our birth. Thus, relating is one of the most important aspects of our daily lives, but it also quite often the most difficult area in our lives and the hardest life lesson we have chosen to deal with. If we can embrace this lesson and learn from it, some of the most important and profound life experiences can take place.
From a metaphysical perspective, there are no accidents in our lives. We have chosen our relationships and the people we connect with before we are born. All relationships we have chosen are for the purpose of attaining soul growth through working on our karmic debts, or working through our past life issues. It offers us the opportunity to clear past life energy, or learn our chosen life lessons with these individuals who have come into our lives to assist us. Relationships can come in different forms: parents, children, partners, siblings, relatives, friends, teachers, classmates, co-workers, business associates, neighbors, customers, strangers, competitors, rivals, enemies, authorities, or even animals, etc., As such, the role we have chosen to play in the relationships are presented to each of us in all areas of life: family, marriage, partnership, career, work, business, public service, health, money, material possessions, school, government, sports, food, etc. Any relationship we choose is just a playground for us to play, or an acting stage in which we are the lead actor or actress in our own play. In this sense, everyone involved is the supporting actors or actress in our play, in the same token, we are also the supporting actors and actress in their play. No matter what type relationship we have chosen, it is all for our soul growth through the various learning experiences in that relationship.
Unfortunately, any relationship that has great potential to attain soul growth is never an easy one. In most situations, the relationship is intertwined with past life energy unfolding as – Karma, past life drama, trauma, issues, unfinished business and unlearned life lessons. Most of us have been together in many past life situations, and we came back together to do it again in order to correct situations which were not resolved in a prior life, and to free ourselves from the past and move forward in vibration. Through relationships we are learning forgiveness, acceptance, communication, respect, tolerance, understanding, compromise, patience, humility, gratitude and unconditional love, etc. Honestly, we all desire a beautiful, lovely, happy and wonderful relationship, and it could be true in most cases when we first enter a relationship, but then the past life energy and past life issues kick in. When this happens, if we do not have the awareness of what is really going on, we often fall back into the past life mode immediately, and then we simply repeat the past life pattern as if we are running an old record without realizing what we are doing. For some, they may breakoff the relationship to escape the challenge or avoid the pain residing deep in their soul memory from the past life, but no matter how many relationships they move onto, they will end up with the same challenges or similar situations with the new people or situation. For some, they may act out in anger, animosity, hostility or hate; the lovers become enemies. Others, they may resist change, and hold onto someone or something that no longer works for them. As such, the past life issues are unresolved, karma is unfinished, lessons are unlearned, and we accumulate more past life energy in our soul memory and carry it into our future incarnations. As a result, we are unable to achieve what we have planned for ourselves in this incarnation, and lock ourselves in the wheel of reincarnation.
We all can have a beautiful and wonderful relationship or relationships, live in peace and harmony. However, before we can reach that goal, we need work on our karmic debt, past life issues and life lessons. So much past life energy needs to be released and cleared from our soul memory; so much healing needs to be done on everyone who is involved in the relationship. This applies to individuals, a group, a community, a nation, a country and the world as a whole. We are all responsible for whatever relationship we are in or we desire it to be. We have a choice and we make the choice. The choices we make relating to our actions and reactions in a relationship directly impact the quality of our relationships.
How can we deal with our relationships from a metaphysical perspective?
First of all, be aware of the purpose of relationships from a metaphysical perspective. Awareness is the foundation for conscious living in a relationship. We need to be aware that life is not real, it is a school of learning, and an illusion. Every person who comes into our life is there to teach us something or mirror something for us that we need to pay attention to or to work on. The person may be someone that was close to us in our past life. We have chosen them and they have agreed to come back into our life again to assist us through working on the issues around karma, past life energy and life lessons. When our intensive emotions come to the surface, we need to keep reminding ourselves that they are here to help us and to give us the greatest opportunity to grow and to gain freedom from the wheel of karma.
Secondly, release whatever emotion is coming to the surface constructively, do not hold onto it or repress it. Honestly and truthfully acknowledge the emotion and pain, and allow it to be expressed through crying, writing or talking to someone who can listen with understanding, respect and compassion. Take a bath or shower, sit near water or under the trees, or take a walk in nature; this will help you clear the energy much faster. Flower essences, essential oils, massages, chiropractic work, homeopathic treatments, sound, magnets, color, energy healing or other healing modalities can help clear the energy and assist your healing. Go with your own feeling or intuition and you will be guided to the modality you need to use or the healer who can help you.
Thirdly, pay close attention to the emotional reaction you have towards the situation, the person or the issue. This requires awareness and practice, as we all tend to react to someone or something sensitive in a spontaneous or habitual fashion. If you find yourself repeatedly reacting, then you should stop, and ask yourself a question, “Why do I react to it? Why does this person automatically push my buttons or piss me off all the time? What is this about?” As you start to ask such questions, you are getting close to the answer. I have had similar experiences recently and I found it very enlightening.
I recently realized how easily frustrated or angry I became when those who are close to me came to complain to me about their problems and issues, and were reaching out to me for help. I became very impatient, rigid, and angry. It greatly disturbed my inner peace. In the beginning, I just spontaneously reacted, the more I reacted, the angrier I became. One night while I was talking to Alan about my situation, I was able to realize that I have been habitually reacting this way for a while, but I was not aware of it! As I became aware of it, I asked myself the question, “Why did I react so negatively? What should I learn from it?” At the very moment of asking the question, the answer was immediately given to me. I had been a mother and housewife in many incarnations. In those incarnations I was rigid, demanding, lacked understanding and compassion. I did not like those who were my children, or close to me to complain or tell me about their struggles. I considered these behaviors as weak, timid and cowardly. As such, I did not treat them gently and softly even though I loved them in my own way. The main life lesson I have chosen to learn is to be more gentle and softer. Maitreya himself told me in January 2016 that I needed to learn to be more gentle and softer. He emphasized this when I moved in with Margaret and Alan to became their personal assistant. I was also able to see it from my natal chart – Mars in Pisces in the 3rd house. In my current situation, I have a deep past life connection with those who live with me on a daily basis. I was their mother or mother in law in different past lives. I have the soul contracts with them that they agreed to come into my life to help me pay my karmic debt to them and to learn this main life lesson. Oh boy, changing old habits and conditioning is never easy. On many occasions when my Self throws me into past life mode, I become a much different person! I quickly become furious, angry and rough. I do not want to have anything to do with them, and want to run away to a place where I have my personal freedom and independence, and I do not have to listen to anyone! This awareness turned the light bulb on inside me; it was a big AHA moment. As I was able to realize the lesson and the root cause of my emotional reaction, I had the choice to change it or to continually do it. I choose to change it. It takes courage, discipline, determination and patience to change the deep ingrained habits, but slowly and surely, I am making positive change and moving forward in vibration.
Learning through relationships is always the most difficult and dynamic learning process. It will inevitably expose our deep fears, long buried emotions, wounds, hurts, ingrained habits, conditioning and beliefs. This is what requires each of us to stay with the Higher Self part of us and always remind ourselves that we are here attending the school of life and we are here for soul growth. Therefore, instead of hating, holding grudges or having animosity towards the person, thank them, and love them, because they give us the greatest opportunity to learn our chosen life lessons, and to be free of our karma, and to attain soul growth. No matter what kind of emotions we are dealing with, allow them to come to the surface and to be released, but do not give more energy to it, become the objective observer, let the energy come out and pass. If the other person throws their anger or emotions to you, give it no energy; just allow them to release what is inside them. Keep reminding yourself, “I no longer need to give into the conflict, tension and lack of tolerance, and I will give this no more energy.” Then let it be and move on. Of course, this is never an easy task as the Self part of us always wants to be a victim, and wants to get vengeance, wants to retaliate, wants to have the last word and will not let anything go. Remember, acting and reacting negatively will not get us anywhere and leads to endless war and fighting and locks us into the wheel of reincarnation. However, if we can move forward without the need to react, with determined detachment, the issue will be gone and will never return. The more we can learn not to give energy to anger and all ‘negative’ emotions, the higher vibration we will attain. When we can tolerate the other person or situation, and walk away from conflict, we are truly raising our vibration.
Fourthly, communication includes speaking and listening. First and foremost, speak and express your truth with love in your heart. Express your point of view quietly and clearly and with conviction, but without criticizing or judging another or without other ‘negative’ emotions. When you can do so, the words you speak can be the true power of transformation and healing. If the person does not accept what you say, let it be, it is over. The most important thing for you is that you have spoken your truth.
In the same token, it is very important to learn to listen to the other person, and give them your full attention while they are talking or expressing themselves. Acknowledge and respect their truth, although it may be completely different from your truth. Do not take what they say or do personally, and try to practice emotional detachment. Keep in mind that often what the other person said or did is not meant to hurt you or disrespect you; it is how they are dealing with THEIR own anger, fear, insecurity or any other ‘negative’ emotions.
Fifthly, always be true and honest with yourself. When you are honest and truthful to yourself, you are also honest and truthful to others. You have come into this life to live your own life and to allow yourself to be happy by clearing away old stagnant energy from your soul memory. It is all about you and your happiness. You have the right to be happy and to be in a relationship that you are at peace. If you are unhappy with your life, then don’t be afraid to make change. You are the only one who can change it. Our human society is filled with stories about people who have changed their lives because they spoke their truth and changed their situation.
Sixthly, turn anger, hatred or all other ‘negative’ emotions into love and gratitude. We need to keep reminding ourselves that all relationships are designed to assist us to learn our life lessons and to achieve soul growth. Every person who comes into our life is there to teach us something. Each person is a mirror and a teacher in our life. No matter what they did, they did it to help us. The worst enemy we may have on the earth plane can be our best friend in the world of spirit. Because they love us so deeply and dearly, they agreed to play the role of enemy in this lifetime to assist us to learn the hard life lessons we have chosen to learn. Thus, instead of feeling hate, anger, or any other ‘negative’ emotions, turn those emotions into love. Thank the person for being there to help you, because they are giving us the greatest opportunity to grow and to be free of our karma.
The art of compromise, equality, collaboration, cooperation, total acceptance, respect, tolerance, gratitude, compassion and unconditional love are the real essences each of us are here to develop through relationships. “Love is the food that feeds the soul. Without it you wither and die. Without it you are without a fundamental part of yourself.” – from Maitreya Quotes App
“Life is a series of compromise between what one sees as perfect and what one finds suitable or preferable – lacking such perfection” – from “Synastry” by Robert C Jansk. It is not easy breaking the link to our emotions, but as we do, we move forward into a more peaceful and harmonious energy. Let go of your fear of rejection and the feeling of being unloved, and start to accept and love yourself unconditionally. As you do, you will find your relationships with others will become much better.