There are times when I get a request from Jean for a newsletter, but have no idea what to write. When Maitreya wants to write something, there is always a subject and the words flow once I begin. However, with my own newsletters, posts on FB and other communications, it is like waiting for a train at the station that never arrives. It is made worse by having bad news happen, or stress presented in your life that you have not created. I thank God sometimes for Astrology, because I can very often find the answers to issues I am dealing with by looking at my transits. Today was a heavy stress day, we all experienced some bad news, and although I had made a decision to write my newsletter for February, once the news was given, I closed down as my spirits dropped like a lead balloon!

I have been with Maitreya over 24 years now and prior to that, 7 years learning about the world of spirit. In all of that time I have never been let down by those in the next world. I have been given proof after proof of their presence and of their messages, to others and to me. But, for some reason, the last few years have not only been very hard, but my spirit has been tested so much that I wonder how I have survived! People think working for spirit is a guaranteed pathway to success and riches, when in fact, being spiritual and practicing it can be one of the hardest paths to follow.

Yes, we have spiritual Helpers, Guides and even Masters helping us on our path of life, but they are there to lead us and guide us to the people we need to meet to assist us with life lessons and our karma, not to provide us with easy ways to deal with it. We all choose our path before we are born; some choose a heavy path, others a lighter path, but it is not for those in the world of spirit to make it easy. I once saw on Face Book a picture of an angel looking so exhausted with a caption “Your Guardian Angel after a time of testing with you”. The poor Angel was so worn out, and one wondered what the Angel’s companion looked like.

People find it very hard to understand there are times on my path when I wish I had the guts to take my own life! They assume because I work with a Master I am beyond that kind of thing, but when I get tired and the struggle gets very hard, these thoughts are very close to my being. The Self part of me really works hard trying to have me leave the earth plane, thankfully, I stay in the Higher Self and as such never take heed of what the Self is doing. I do understand why out of every 100 people who attempt the metaphysical path, only one or two make it to the end.

Had I known how hard it would be on the metaphysical path, I would never have started it; but I had stars in my eyes and I wanted to help humanity. I also have come to realize that I signed up to do this as part of my life lessons. I cannot run away and this makes it worse, because I do not have the privilege of being able to do that. It is a lifetime commitment and if I leave I just have to return to try again, and I do not want to do that. At times I feel so weary with the struggle, but then I have to remember there are a million others feeling the same. I have to remind myself how fortunate I am, because I have Maitreya to give me energy to cope and at times the answers as to how, why, what and who.

So today was one of those “bad days” and my Higher Self has gone on holiday. My Self is having a field day with talking to me about all the bad things that can happen due to the news we received and then Jean sent an email asking for a newsletter. “What do I write?” I sat for quite some time thinking about it, and then I decided to write this, as it is, no Maitreya, no Higher Self, just me struggling on my path in life. I have no answers to the future, about what is to happen ahead, but I will try very hard to stay focused on my path in life and hopefully someone reading this newsletter will get some solace on their path because life is NOT easy on the metaphysical path.

I have channeled so many newsletters and Blogs in the past, I have never been paid for one of them, for 23 years Maitreya has led and guided me with writing after writing which have been shared with you, I have done thousands of healing requests once again for no fee, until we decided to make a fee for the service of the healing energy; it has been a labor or love, at times VERY hard, it is not for the weak in heart, had I not had the Scorpio energy in my chart I doubt I would have survived. I will continue surviving also, but if you are struggling on your metaphysical/spiritual path, do know someone else understands what you are going through, you are not alone, and, I managed to write a newsletter, yeah!!