Taking Responsibility versus Blaming Yourself ©
I love responding to questions from students and/or clients because it gives me an opportunity to delve a little deeper into the teachings of the Masters to find an appropriate and satisfying answer. The truth is, I almost always learn something relevant to my own life in the process. Recently I received an e-mail from a client who was quite concerned about any difference between “taking responsibility for something and blaming yourself for not doing the ‘right’ thing.” The message indicated that the individual was getting different answers from friends and relatives and wanted some clarity.
First of all, the word “Responsibility” has several different meanings. For example:
• 1: The state of being of the person who caused something to happen: accountability (after the fact)
Other synonyms for this meaning include blameworthiness, fault, guilt, and liability. All of these are assigned by another person or some social “rule,” but almost always for some past infraction or event). It is easy to see how taking responsibility and blaming yourself might be regarded as equivalent. But this kind of responsibility is an important fact of life, and one on which I will have more to say in next month’s newsletter.
• 2: A duty or task that you are expected or required (sometimes legally) to do: an obligation (in the future)
According to this definition, taking responsibility has absolutely nothing to do with blaming oneself.
• 3: Something that you should do because it is morally right: a burden
This is similar to definition #2 in its focus on the future, but it also conveys a distinctively different expectation, that of morality or “right” versus “wrong.” But to me, the most distinctive key to this definition is the ability to choose for oneself between right and wrong. This key is echoed in Louise Hay’s (1926-2017; motivational author, speaker, and Founder of Hay House publishing) definition:
• “Responsibility is our ability to respond to a situation. We always have a choice.”
While choice is certainly a critical element of the kind of responsibility in my client’s question, there is yet another factor as I noted in a previous newsletter, “Do You React or Respond?” That factor is whether the behavior in question is in Alignment with your Higher Self or your Lower Self (somewhat reflective of “right” versus “wrong”). But the choice is always made NOW, in the moment. As such, I believe that responsibility is the ability to take ownership of your behavior (NOW), and signals the choice to Align your life energies with Higher Self. On the other hand, blaming (and thus shaming) yourself is always retrospective, in the past, and reflects the choice to align your life energies with the Lower Self.
Accepting responsibility (usually after the fact) is not the same as being responsible (in the present, the NOW). Even if you accept responsibility for some future outcome, it will always remain in the future unless you actually do something about it in the ever-present NOW.
But there is an even more important aspect to being responsible that is critical for creating or manifesting anything and everything, including raising your vibration. The key to that is the nature and quality of your vibration itself. Specifically, you must put yourself in the feeling place (emotion/vibration) of already having what you want to create/manifest as an accomplished fact in your life. To be in the feeling place, you must be able to enjoy the thought of your creation already manifested.
• “Take me seriously. When you know what you want in life, construct a scene which would imply your desire is fulfilled. See it as clearly as possible. Feel its naturalness. Experiment until you know the scene and all it implies is real. Now, to the degree that you believe in its reality, your experiment will become your experience. Do not stop there. Keep on imagining and share your results with others. Tell them how to free themselves from this bondage to Caesar.” ~ Neville Goddard (1905-1972; American metaphysics teacher & New Thought/New Age author)
• “The time it takes your assumption to become fact, your desire to be fulfilled, is directly proportionate to the naturalness of your feeling of already being what you want to be—of already having what you desire. The fact that it does not feel natural to you to be what you imagine yourself to be is the secret of your failure. Regardless of your desire, regardless of how faithfully and intelligently you follow the law [of Attraction], if you do not feel natural about what you want to be, you will not be it. If it does not feel natural to you to get a better job, you will not get a better job.” ~ Neville Goddard
Even more importantly, taking responsibility for (that is, taking ownership of) becoming the Master of your Life is a sincere intention (actually, a “sacred pledge” to your Higher Self) to align all of your life energies with Higher Self. This is the fundamental process of soul evolution, the primary purpose of life on the Earth plane.
In short, accepting Responsibility for your behavior and/or outcomes empowers you because that act acknowledges that you are in charge of your life.
• “Your true happiness happens when you discover that no one but yourself is responsible for the way you feel.” ~ Abraham (channeled by Esther Hicks)
• “You alone are responsible for your experiences and you alone chose them before you were born. Embrace them with positive feelings and move forward in vibration.” ~ Maitreya (Newsletter #119, July 26, 2004, channeled by Margaret McElroy)
So much for responsibility, but what about blaming yourself? Well, that is “natural” but completely counterproductive. It is just the active work of the Lower Self in your life … to the extent you allow yourself to believe it. I’ll have more to say related to this topic in next month’s newsletter.
• “The more you can put yourself in the positive energy of belief—the more positive is your belief—the better. You are the creator of your own reality, but you also battle the game of life itself and then punish yourself because you cannot do that. Do as much as you can, yet do not despair or punish yourself for your failure to continue with it or do that. The more you try, the better you will become, and one day you WILL be able to manifest completely without hesitation. The more you punish yourself for your failings, the more you become depressed and sad, the worse it will be for you. Very few souls can manifest immediately without difficulty; it is a slow transition, but made worse by your punishment of yourself. When you find yourself doing this, affirm to yourself, ‘I will not feel terrible because I was not able to do it.’ OR ‘I do not blame myself for my failure to manifest; I will not stop trying though.’ Punishment of yourself is not the answer; pride in yourself at trying to manifest is worthy. Let go of self-condemnation and you will find yourself manifesting more!” ~ Maitreya (Newsletter, “Keep the Faith,” September 12, 2014)
In summary, no blame and no shame. They are warning signs on the road to retreat and defeat and will stop you from raising your vibration along with everything else you want to manifest. Negativity of any kind is the energy of the Lower Self. “Keep the Faith” as Maitreya says and take full responsibility for your life because no one else can do it but you. But it is just a choice after all, the choice to “cooperate and graduate” or to leave it until later—most likely another lifetime—when making positive change will be even more difficult than it appears to be now.
Oh, and next month’s newsletter? I’m thinking about calling it “Happy Accidents” or something to that effect. Stay tuned and have a great month!