The day I wrote this article was a very trying day for me, as I received some news I did not like. For me, life is a constant test; despite having Maitreya as my teacher and helper, he cannot get through to help me or give me anything positive while I am emotional, and this morning I allowed the emotions to take me over! I was tired; no excuse, I know. But, I came to realize, I had been giving energy to Alan and others to help them in closing the present center down. It has been hard work and I have watched Alan, Jean and Korinne come home at the end of the day absolutely exhausted. My bad news today just tipped me over the edge. I was finished; I wanted to go back to Australia, just wanted to be nobody without any responsibilities, and no longer wanted to work with Maitreya.
My Self was feeling really sorry for itself! At times, the work I do can be really exhausting, and today was one of those days. I chose to switch off and work on my computer. The first thing that happened was that I was reading about the Boston Marathon and reading about a woman dance teacher who had lost her feet, she was so determined to dance again and wrote about how she would not only dance again, but also run the marathon next year. It made what I was going through very little in comparison to what she was going through. My next issue was reading about a little boy with Leukemia, it reminded me of my own granddaughter who still is in Hospital, thousands of miles from her own home, and very much alone missing friends and those close to her. This made me even more ashamed of my actions that morning. My lessons at the moment, transit-wise, are all about giving no energy to anything. Yet, what did I do? I reacted emotionally in a way I should not have done, I should have just ignored the news I had received that day. I have said so many times that I used to be an Oscar winning performer, and boy did I deserve an Oscar for my performance that morning. During my emotional times, despite being with Maitreya for 20 years, he cannot communicate with me; my emotions block his communication.
Years ago, it would take sometimes a week before I could communicate again with him. Today it took 3 hours! Everywhere I turned there was either written or TV messages which not only lifted my spirits, but also allowed me to see how my reactions were nothing compared to what other people were going through. We have no idea just how our emotions cloud the Higher Self from communicating! So how does one stop the emotional part of us? Well, there is no easy answer, I wish there were, but the more you become aware of the problem, and how we allow our Self to do it, the easier it is to deal with it. The Self part of us loves when we are tired and exhausted; it can bring us to our knees in very quick time when we are like that. We just need to be aware of what is happening. Am I angry or sorry that the news I got brought out all the emotion? No, I am not, I honestly feel it gave me a chance to vent and get rid of some negative energy. It also allowed me to see that I had not really learned about the emotional part of me, because I had allowed it to penetrate my life once again. So go round again Margaret, I know I will be tested again on this matter, it will not go away until I have learned it. Hopefully, I will not allow it to happen again, but if it does, I am sure the Universe will show me once again the fact that other people go through far more than I do, and allow me to see what I am going through is nothing compared to others!
by Margaret McElroy