The Art of Compromise

by Jean Luo

Since the transiting South Node changed signs to Libra and North Node to Aries on July 17th, 2023, and it will stay with us until January 2025, the karmic lessons around relationships are being brought to the forefront in our daily life. The South Node in Libra and North Node in Aries provide us the opportunities to reevaluate our relationships and partnerships, so that we can move away from placing value in unity over our own identity, and away from dependency on others and social expectations (South Node in Libra), and move towards independence, passion, drive, authenticity, and inner strength (North Node in Aries).

All relationships are for soul growth. We choose our relationships before we are born according to our karma, past lives, and life lessons that we have chosen to learn in this incarnation. In any relationship, we are learning from each other because we are each other’s mirror and teacher. Many life lessons are playing out throughout our relationships with others – acceptance, forgiveness, tolerance, respect, compassion, communication, compromise, dependence, independence, equality, and individuality, etc.

To have a healthy relationship with others, we need to understand that each person is a unique individual and has a completely different energy. It is not about owning another person or losing ourselves in another person’s energy. You may ask, how do we do ‘Not’ do that? We do it through the art of compromise.

The art of compromise is very important in our learning to make our relationship work, but it can also cause confusion with our own emotional needs and agenda in a relationship. “It is one thing to meet another halfway, to understand a point of view different from our own and work towards a harmony of the opposing forces. It is quite another to “cave in” and betray our own truth. If we look deeply into it, we usually find that we are trying to gain something –whether it is power or the approval of others. If you are tempted, beware; the rewards of this kind of compromise always leave a bitter taste in the mouth.” ~ from Osho Zen Tarot Cards

The art of compromise means that we must respect each other’s individuality, give each other space, and allow each other to have their own freedom of truth, allow each other to make their own choices, decisions, to have their own beliefs and learning experiences without trying to bend their truth or demand them to meet our expectations; The art of compromise means that we must take full responsibility for our own life, embrace our own individuality, strive to be totally honest and truthful to ourselves, be unafraid of having our own independent thinking, and to make our own choices, decisions, and learning experiences according to our own life plan which is shown in our natal/birth astrology chart. In the same token, the art of compromise does not mean that we become self-centered, selfish, and never care about another person’s equal existence and well-being; it does not mean that we bend our own needs and truth over to another person’s truth, demands and control.

The art of compromise requires us not only to be totally honest and truthful to ourselves, but also to be gentle, caring, and considerate to another’s well-being; the art of compromise requires us to have the courage to admit our faults, mistakes, imperfections, and not be afraid of making or embracing change; the art of compromise requires us to have patience and willingness to learn and grow in the relationship; the art of compromise requires us to cultivate two-way communications – expressing our truth quietly and clearly with love; and listening to another’s truth and opinions attentively – so that we can reach a mutual understanding based on respect, trust, tolerance, acceptances, and unconditional love. We need to learn to agree to disagree. The art of compromise also requires us to always remember that we are each other’s mirrors and teachers. What we don’t like from another is what we need to look at within ourselves; what we have difficulties and struggle with another in a relationship is what we struggle with within ourselves. Thus, instead of pointing a finger at another and complaining to another about the challenges and difficulties in a relationship, we need to always ask ourselves, “what does he/she mirror for me? What is he/she trying to teach me? What do I need to be aware of and to learn from him/her in this relationship?” Finally, the art of compromise requires us to have no fear of walking away from a toxic and stagnant relationship once we know in our heart that we have done all we can, and we have no regrets in walking away. By doing so, we are learning what we have chosen to learn from the relationship, and we work through our relationship karma, resolve unresolved relationship issues and we eventually attain soul growth through the relationship.