Two-Way Communication

by Jean Luo

I don’t know how you feel and think right now, but I do feel the craziness in the world due to the conjunction of Uranus and Mars transit with North Node in Taurus on July 31st. It brings so much highly charged energy, resulting in highly charged feelings of anxiety and restless that cause sudden and uncontrollable emotional outbursts, and more. One thing I have noticed is that people are so easily offended and easily get into arguments and fights over things so meaningless and unnecessary.

The key to harmonize human interaction and relationships is communication, but we seem to no longer know how to have a good conversation, or how to communicate with each other, instead, we often feel that we don’t hear each other, or we are not heard, and we are misunderstood.

A good communication always goes two ways – talk and listen. We can learn so much from both talking and listening, but we need both components.

We express ourselves through talking and speaking. When we express our feelings, emotions, thoughts, opinions, etc., we let others know how we feel, what we think and do, and where we stand. It requires us to speak our truth quietly and clearly with love and honesty. By doing so, we not only honor and value ourselves, which is very important for our self-esteem and self-confidence, but also avoid any misunderstanding.

When we listen, we give our time and energy to others. It not only shows our respect to others, but also helps us hear the other party, their feelings, thoughts, perspectives, ideas, suggestions, etc. or sometimes they just need to talk to someone to clear their mind or their confusion about their own feelings, emotions, or vent their frustration. When we listen to their talk attentively, we can gain much better clarity and understanding about others and the situation we are dealing with. By doing so, so many false assumptions and misunderstandings can be avoided, and so much care and healing can take place. Plus, we can also learn a lot from listening. We often easily see other people’s issues and lessons, but it is hard to see our own due to our loaded emotions. By listening to others telling us their feelings and experiences, we can become aware of our own.

Learning two-way communication is never an easy lesson for all of us. When do we need to speak our truth quietly and clearly with love and conviction? When do we need to listen to others’ speaking attentively? It is an art of communication. When we argue with each other, we often feel not being heard or being misunderstood, so we try all we can to get our voice heard, it often leads to an endless loop of justification and debating, even to accusing and blaming each other, resulting in even more unnecessary misunderstandings, friction, hurt feelings, or breakup. When we find ourselves in such a situation, if we can stop feeling that we are not heard, and start asking, “Why do I feel this way? Do I listen to what he/she is saying? Do I really hear he/she?” This will assist us to gain clarity about the situation so we can make necessary changes.

We are all each other’s mirror and teacher no matter whom we are having a conversation with. If we have communication issues with others, or with each other, we need to ask ourselves why, and how we can make change. It requires us to express ourselves openly and honestly and speak our truth quietly and clearly with love; It also requires us to listen to others, give time and energy to engage in the conversation and communication with them attentively without taking anything they say personally or as an attack, and make sure not to let our own ego and pride get in the way. By doing so, our relationships will be improved, our life will become simpler, happier, and more in harmony.

Life is filled with adventure and wondrous opportunities once we open to it. Two-way communication will assist us to learn whatever we need along the way.