I believe that we all have something deep in our heart that we wish to do or were inspired to do by the incident or event we experienced at some stage of our lives, and we may have buried or lost it while we were swimming through the twists and turns in the course of life. However, the Universe knows what lies deep inside our heart, it always has its magic way to guide and lead us to fulfill that wish and dream if we allow it to happen. I had this kind of wish, and I thought I had lost it for a long time, but the Universe magically brought it back to me. It happened when I was at age of 19….
Like all the city youth from age 16 and above, I was sent to the countryside to be re-educated by the peasants through working with them in the fields and living with their conditions. In other words, we were becoming peasants and would spend the rest of our lives in the underdeveloped countryside. In this way we would learn about the reality of a real life through hardship and poverty; we would learn to survive through hard work and discipline, and we would understand what real life was. As a result, everyone who had the experiences of living life as a peasant was transformed in their own way, and they no longer viewed their lives the same.
I was 17 years old with my brother who was only 15 years old. We both were sent to a village a few hundreds miles away from the city where our family was. We were forced to grow up quickly to live our own lives without our parent’s support. We grew our own vegetables, cooked our own meals, and earned our own living by working in the field like an adult. At that time, I only had 2 years of middle school education. I did not know anything about my future and what I wanted to do and where I would be. All I knew was to work hard in the field and to become one with the peasants in our village so that they would accept me and treat me as one of them. Because of this, I established a very good relationship with them. They opened their heart and arms to accept me, help me, appreciate me and love me. It was there that I experienced the purest form of love and trust through their acceptance of me.
Just before I had the opportunity to leave and go to the college, a peasant in our village became very sick. He had been sick for a long time but had no money to see a doctor. Finally he became so sick that he had to stay in bed all the time. He had two young children and a wife who was mentally handicapped. They were very poor. Four of them were sleeping on one full size bed and they shared a single comforter. The comforter was very old and dirty, and was riddled with holes. I could not imagine how it could keep them warm on a cold night.
The man was the only laborer in the family to provide food, but he was too ill to work. The village had to help his family by providing them food, but it was very basic and limited. One day the man was too ill – his stomach was bloated like being 10 months pregnant, he was in excruciating pain and he could not breath. His wife did not know what to do and cried all the time with their two young children. The head of our village asked me to take him to the hospital in the city to see a doctor.
With the help of two young peasants in our village, I was able to get the sick man and his wife on the train before the day started and to take him to the hospital in the city.
We waited a whole day in the hallway of the hospital to get a doctor to see this man. The doctor told us that the man needed to be hospitalized immediately. He asked us to pay money first, but we did not have any. So the hospital refused to let the man in. The hospital was filled with poor and sick people; we couldn’t even find a chair for him to sit down. The hospital was only a few blocks away from my parent’s house, so I rushed home and brought back a comfortable sling chair so he could lie down. He was lying on the chair in excruciating pain and groaning all the time. I could feel his pain and his struggle. I went to talk to the doctor again to ask for medical treatment for this man, but nobody listened to me because I couldn’t pay the fee. I ended up going back home to ask my parents for help. My father came to the hospital with me and he went to see the head of the hospital that he knew.
With the help of the head of the hospital, the man was finally able to be admitted to the hospital. Because of his sickness, the man had not cleaned himself for a long time. He looked very dirty and his body odor was very bad. The nurses did not want to help him. They did not want to go near him to give him medical treatment. As I watched the nurses’ behavior, I became so angry. I went to talk to them and I insisted that they give him care and the proper treatment he deserved. I asked them what kind human beings they were for not helping a dying man who desperately needed medical treatment. It was at that moment I made a decision that I wanted to become a doctor. I wanted to serve people who needed care and healing, and I wanted to help people get well.
The man died in hospital two days later as his cancer was at a very late stage. I used all the money my parents left to me to pay for the man’s hospital fee and to hire a man with a pushcart to take the body to the funeral home. The man’s wife and I walked in our bare feet to follow the man who was pushing the pushcart to the funeral home, which was about 5 miles away from the hospital. By the time we got there, it was closed. I did not want to take the dead body back to hospital, so I kept knocking on the door of the funeral home. Finally a man who was on duty opened the door for us. I asked him if he could help us. As the man watched the wife of the dead man crying hopelessly, he finally gave us an exception. He cremated the dead man and allowed us to bury him in their graveyard without cost. I was very lucky and grateful for all the help we got from the man from the funeral home. I could not imagine what it would like without his kindness and courageous help. By the time we buried the dead man’s ashes, it was dark and the wife and me both were exhausted. But we had to walk to train station so we could take mid-night train back to the village.
The whole experience was so profound for me. I was only 19 at the time. It was the first time that I watched someone die in front of my eyes and then I watched while they cremated his body and buried him without a ceremony. A life disappeared in front of me, so vulnerable and quickly. The whole thing made me feel so powerless and helpless. It made me think about the purpose and meaning of life; it inspired me to want to help people in need; and it motivated me to want to serve humanity and to change the society for the better. From that moment I knew that I wanted to be a doctor to heal others and to help our human society change for good.
A year later after that experience, I had a chance to go to college. I chose to go to medical school as I thought it would help me fulfill my dream. But I ended up in the school of Pharmacy, not by my wish, but by someone else’s power. My destiny took a twist and I was very disappointed. I thought that I would never be able to be a doctor.
However, the Universe knows what lies in my heart. 40 years later, I am using my healing gift to serve and help people spiritually and metaphysically. I am also studying medical astrology and I hope that I can eventually utilize the knowledge of astrology, past life regression and other healing modalities to help others in their healing. This is where my heart lies and this is my passion. I am so grateful that I still have the opportunity to fulfill my heart felt dream. The Universe, indeed, knows exactly what our heart wants, it never forgets.