Working with Shadow
by Sree Pallavi Thota

Recently I had a past life regression session with my teacher Jean Luo. I am trying to understand the game of Light and Dark, and how to understand the shadow part of me.

The more I investigate the shadow part of me that came up during regression, the more it seems to me like it is the cumulative energy of all the things that I did not understand. This energy led me to anger, fear, thoughts of violence, and these breed upon themselves, so whatever side I look with these emotions, the more I see them! It is the axiom of like attracting like. So over time these thick black smokey subconscious memories, like the tip of an iceberg are letting me know they are there. I’ve had incarnations of being a high priest, and I ignored and judged the dark. I have also had incarnations of being discarded by society. I was a misfit and was publicly executed although innocent, which led me to breed thoughts of vengeance. I did not take it as an experience, instead I was angry at creation itself! But when you judge something, you miss the wholeness of the experience, and I am now realizing and living that part I pushed aside!

As I go deep to face and release the energy, I can feel the Divine Spirit deep inside me, and the Divine Spirit is going through the experience with me showering me with unconditional love. There was an incarnation Jean helped me to heal and I meditated to release the energy that was trapped within me. I was a helpless mother that suffered and endured my loved one being killed. The divine never left me, for it told me my story, and showed me the same scars on its body that my loved suffered! We may not be able to comprehend what it is like to be the Divine Spirit that has a piece of itself with all of us. I was overflowing with joy and gratitude when I met that energy. With this knowledge and energy of the Divine, I bravely exposed myself to face my subconscious.

When there is light, there is shadow. Spirit had me pay attention to my ceiling (as in picture), to help me understand it. I am the object here, and I have the choice to meditate on the light.

When I came face to face with my shadow from my subconscious it really tipped my scales, I felt like running away and tried to be in denial, instead of taking this unique opportunity to go deeper. My teacher Jean really helped me understand why my shadow exists and how to transform it with the love energy of pink light. I surrounded it in a deep Rose Quartz color and water. It takes time to heal, as each layer is healed, a deeper layer is exposed.

I learnt that when there is love, there is no judgement. Each piece in my shadow is ready to merge with my divine essence of understanding and peace. Love or Understanding for something doesn’t mean that I need to give my energy to it to keep it going and feed it! To me it means that I understand that everything has its place in creation, and I don’t have to be involved in it. Whether something makes logical sense to me or not, is my own illusion in relative reality. Just like the question does shadow exist or light exist? In a spiritual sense, everything has its place in creation, and I need to just watch it objectively and not carry impressions of it with me. So, I am breaking the pattern of feeding my shadow.

To me, not having judgement can translate to empathy. You empathize with your own shadow. It serves as an indicator to see what I have not being paying attention to!