WWID? Defeating the Ego-Self Part II
by Laura Elliott
Oh my gosh! So much has been happening lately! Not just in the world but in my life! My life has been changing exponentially over the past few years.
In the beginning of my blogs (www.messagingwithangels.com/my-blog), I was talking about the challenges of first losing a job in a field that I’d had a career in for 25 years and hoping to finally follow my dreams, to getting another job in that same field a couple of years later at a different location and the challenges I’d been having trying to do the same thing but coming from a different perspective because of how much I’d grown Spiritually in the intervening years. I’d grown so much in vibration because I’d been uncovering and releasing so much old stagnant energy from past lives, and releasing that old energy naturally makes place in yourself to hold more Light. I’d also returned to doing readings March 2019, both by video chat and at psychic fairs, and listening to the lessons and tools that the Angels were teaching had an impact on my life and perspective as well. As I listened to the advice and guidance the Angels were giving people I was also learning and incorporating those changes for myself.
I had wondered why I had to go back to doing a job that I was so tired and worn out from. I wished each day I woke up that I wouldn’t have to go back to that job. For one thing, it felt so incompatible with who I am now that I felt I had difficulty fitting my reality to match their reality of fear and caution. Also, the constant panic and fear in the environment coming from the callers was a huge drain on my empathic abilities. As my vibration changed it did get a little easier, but at the same time it made it even more difficult fitting into that 3rd Dimensional reality as I separated myself further and further from the concept of fear.
With the difficulties I was having in relating to that mode of fear and caution, and trying to ignore my innate knowingness of what is going on with people and situations so that I could ask the required questions of them, I wasn’t successful in doing a job I’d done for 25 years prior to my 2 year break. So, when I was put back on a work plan involving more training I was very upset by it. After all, how is it that I wouldn’t be able to do a job I’d done for so long and not be successful at it? It was already upsetting the first time around because training took longer than I thought it should have for having the previous experience I did. When I talked to my friend, who is also an intuitive reader, about this she told me I was still there to learn something that I needed to learn from being there. I assured her I was only there to earn a paycheck because it wasn’t time yet to do my spiritual work full time. I don’t know why I was unable to see it as she was saying, but a day or two after we’d spoken, I’d finally understood.
At some point during training I had realized that being upset about my inability to do the job as naturally and easily as I had before had to do with how I was determining my value and self-worth by what I did to earn a paycheck. We spend so much time at our jobs that without even realizing it, we come to identify our worth by how well we do our jobs. We forget that our jobs are only a part of our lives, something we do to earn a paycheck to take care of our physical necessities of food and shelter, they are not who we are. We are taught to define ourselves by our jobs, but it didn’t start there, it started when we were kids didn’t it? When you were defined by how well you did in school? Through this process I’ve been going through I’ve come to understand that we need to pay attention to this need we’ve developed to define our worth by something we do or don’t do. Our true worth comes from our hearts, and who we truly are as Spiritual Beings. Under that definition, we understand that we are ALL worthy, because we are all Spiritual Beings having a physical experience together. Everything else is just what we’re doing while we’re here and not an indication of our worth.
Just when I’d thought I’d figured out what I was there to learn, the Universe let me know I wasn’t quite finished yet by putting me back into training where I was forced to examine the situation again. Remembering our True Nature is like peeling an onion, the forgetfulness of what we all once knew is removed in layers until we finally reach the core. And even then we may be presented with yet another opportunity to try out what we’ve remembered to see if we use that remembrance to respond from the Heart Center, whether we truly understand the Awareness we’ve been given by the remembering, or if we once again fall into the human habit that we’re attempting to change. If we see the opportunity we’re being given to handle the same situation differently, then we’ve shown that we have remembered and applied our remembrance successfully in the face of the event that usually would have had us spiraling into the human reaction to the event.
By being placed back into training I finally realized that what my friend had said was the truth of it. I was still there because I still had something to learn, or I would say remember. I prefer saying remember because we all know these things but have forgotten them for a time as we’ve come to the Earth plane to fulfill desired experiences. While I’d realized I was basing my self-worth and identity on how successfully I did my job and what my co-workers thought of me, I had missed the deeper understanding that the Universe was trying to show me. What it desired me to understand was the deeper issue of the Ego-Self which falsely draws us so easily into perceiving our self-worth and value from things outside of ourselves. This is like chasing the end of a rainbow, our self-worth will never be found by chasing something outside of ourselves. Only when we understand that we are worthy and valuable by virtue of the Spiritual Beings we are can we free ourselves from the Ego-Self and the control that it has over us. We can only find this knowing by looking within ourselves, true and lasting understanding of our innate worthiness will never be found from anything outside of ourselves.
We also hold onto these false ideas of worthiness because of fear. We are afraid of what will happen if we don’t “perform” at work to the expectations of those who have control of whether we retain our job or not. We are afraid of losing our jobs because of what may happen if we do. How will we pay for our rent, our food, our bills? I completely understand this. When I was fired in 2017, I was crying and panicked about what would happen to me. And that is one of the noticeable differences between that time and this time. I understand now that fear only makes situations worse. It’s like putting kinks in a water hose; when you do that you can barely get any water to come out of the hose. Fear does the same thing to us; it kinks up our energy so that it is so constricted it’s barely flowing. It also sends us into a head space and away from our Heart Center where our direct connection to our Higher Selves and the One Infinite Creator are available to give us the guidance we are so desperate for in those most trying times.
The Angels teach that the way to remain in our Heart Center is to learn Detachment. Through our human perceptions we’ve come to misunderstand this word. We’ve decided that if you’re not “concerned” or “worried” then you’re detached and that means you don’t care. The Angels teach that in truth, when you are able to let go of Judgement of others and events and allow them to be as they are, even if you don’t understand the reasoning or it doesn’t make sense to you, then you are allowing them to be as they need to be and it is an expression of Unconditional Love. This is Detachment; when you exist in Unconditional Love, Forgiveness, and Non-Judgement thereby allowing everyone and everything to be exactly as they are, allowing all to have the freedom to have the experience they desired on this trip to the Earth plane. This includes outcomes of events in your own life as well. We put ourselves through so much by judging the outcome of events in our lives as “good” or “bad”. When we deem them “bad” we are upset and miserable and to refer back to the water hose analogy, it puts kinks in our energy and lowers our vibration, which then makes us more susceptible to illness and lower energy invasions.
While I’d realized I was determining my worth by my successfulness at my job and the opinion of my co-workers, I now understood the deeper issue; that my Ego-Self was directing my behavior, and that letting go of judgement of the outcome of my training were both big parts of what I needed to remember. The Ego-Self wanted me to fear the outcome of losing my job, so I created a mantra that I began to use as I neared the end of my re-training and evaluation period. I sensed/felt/had a knowing that they were going to release me from employment so at that point I began to focus on my mantra to release my fear of losing my job. I repeated over and over to myself “I release all attachments to outcomes”, and later that day they did indeed release me from employment.
I was a little sad, but I didn’t cry as I normally would have. I would have cried before because I would have judged the outcome of my training and losing my job as “bad” and my Ego-Self would’ve had me believe I was a failure and not good enough. I won’t say that it was completely easy, it wasn’t, I’m still human but as I practice these things I’m getting better at them. I realized that I actually felt successful! I feel like I graduated by being fired if you can believe it! I’d been struggling to learn/remember these things since at least August 2019 and being fired from this job was a sign to me that I’d accomplished what I was there to do.
As I write this, it just happened yesterday, but I find myself at times thinking “I’m so happy!” and “I’m so excited!” because I’m excited about what may be coming next. And I don’t feel the need to direct my path because I’ve learned to connect back to my Heart Center for guidance when I have questions instead of moving away from it to my mind where there are no answers waiting for me. I feel so incredibly grateful that my Higher Self has presented these experiences for me, and even more joyful that I now feel my Higher Self as a presence close to me rather than just an abstract idea. So now, when something arises, my question to myself is “WWID”, or “What Would I Do?”, rather than what would someone else do. Because when we remember how to conquer the Ego-Self, remember our worthiness is a birthright, remember to release judgement and attachments to outcomes, then we can connect with our Heart Center and Higher Self and remember that we have access to all the answers within ourselves.
I hope my experience is helpful to you in some way. If I can help you with your journey back to being in contact with your Higher Self you can find me at my