A few years ago, I asked Maitreya my teacher from spirit, why he had chosen me to be his channel? He told me because I was of the world! I was very surprised at this statement for I did not feel I was worthy, but he pointed out to me I was of the world because I was a woman, I had children and grandchildren, I had experienced poverty through a recession, given a child away and suffered incredible emotional strife through doing so; I had experienced an abortion, had 3 marriages, each with different lessons to learn from the partners; I had battled depression, experienced grandchildren with health issues, I had in my early years had to do my washing in the bath by hand, and I had fought and recovered from addiction; in fact many of the issues people faced in life, I had experienced too.
He also told me I was not a Guru, a Guru is taken care of by his followers, usually lives in a communal living situation, has no experience usually of the things I had gone through, never mind experienced child birth, how could a Guru know the price of food? Many of them have never been in a supermarket. I must admit I had always wondered about my life and why it had been so basic and at times difficult. Maitreya showed me many instances in my work where people had come to me for assistance and I was able to not only be compassionate towards them, but be one with them because I had gone through a similar experience in my own life.
I must admit, it was an uplifting experience because I could see the reasons why my life had been the way it had been. Recently, I had a client who was at odds with her father, just like I had been. I was able to understand her, her feelings years ago had been my feelings, as I sat and listened to my client I was seeing myself as a teenager, only this time around, I was the adult, and I was able to counsel my client on how to deal with the situation without anger and frustration. She wrote me a few days ago and thanked me; my advice to her had worked!
It is not easy doing spiritual work, especially if one is NOT a Guru; one has to provide one’s own funding and when one travels like Alan and I do to do Maitreya’s work, expenses can be steep, accommodation and air fares are very expensive even though one tries to get discount seats. I must admit over the years it has frustrated me not having disciples or followers to assist with our work, on having to ‘earn’ the money, but it allows one to be reliant on nobody, and so one can never be accused of squandering money or using it the wrong way; (something I would not do anyway). Astrologically, it is in my birth chart to have to work for what I need, I was NOT born to be a Guru!
Do not get me wrong, I am not decrying Guru’s, I met a few when I was in India, beautiful souls, very spiritual energies, but I was grateful I was who I was, I felt closer to those I met as clients and supporters, even though I had to (with Alan) provide our own funding through working. I know the price of food, I have made a meal out of very little ingredients, I know what childbirth and raising children is all about. I have had a nervous breakdown, been addicted to barbiturates and come out of that situation with no addiction.
I remember a long time ago, a Catholic priest telling a woman who lived on our street, the mother of 12 children, she should have as many children as God would allow her (she was pregnant again when this was said) and the doctors had told her that if she had any more after the one she was carrying, she would probably die because it was putting a strain on her heart! This woman looked really ill, was constantly tired, exhausted and could not look after the children she had; she wanted an end to childbirth and the poverty of her life. The priest had never had a child, never mind 12 of them, he lived in a church house, paid for by the church, his every need (apart from sex) was provided, how could he understand the woman’s situation? She listened to her priest and had another child and her husband was left to raise the children alone!
How could someone who has not experienced life, know about life? After Maitreya spoke to me, I could understand why I had been chosen, I still did not feel worthy, but that was my own issue, and since then I have learned to be worthy. For me though, life as I am, Maitreya’s channel and carrier of the messages he gives to people satisfies me completely, I really am glad I am who I am!