Summer Vibes in Mindfulness

I’m spending the summer in my hometown. I started my trip extremely anxious and overstressed by all kinds of travel restrictions and media exaggerations.  Relieved once I arrived, I happily started making plans for social interactions and meetings with people I knew. I couldn’t wait to catch up and have endless coffees and conversations in amazing and vibrant surroundings. Funny, but almost every interaction made me somehow sad, disappointed, drained, overwhelmed, negative, depressed or just plain old angry. Uh oh, what a trigger point I was experiencing for sure. I knew I needed to summon the strength to maintain a positive outlook and high vibration to navigate the negative and low vibrational conditions I was encountering?

Probably the most difficult and most important task for all of us is forgiveness and no criticism. In one word – emotional detachment which brings rewards in stability, positivity, and mindfulness.

Perhaps you’ll reply something like: “I don’t judge. I don’t criticize. I ‘m never angry. I’m too spiritual for that.” But the truth is we are humans with human emotions. We all, regardless of our spiritual path, have low moments where we just let ourselves down and get drawn into pity, envy, negativity, righteousness (which is a falsehood in disguise of moral values). Then, there is gossip, giving unsolicited feedback or advice, criticism, judgment. Lately I’ve been having a lot of comebacks of emotions that I’m not comfortable having or being surrounded with anymore. What to do when you realize that most of your closest acquaintances don’t see anything bad or wrong with this kind of behavior? I feel like a black sheep once again. I’m catching myself being overly sensitive to these emotions, which make me feel angry, repulsed by it and overly sad. My common reaction is withdrawal and solitude. I started questioning myself as to whether I was being overly critical or judgmental of people who I was once so close to. These people are old friends, relatives, family members etc., but not (yet) awakened? I am trying to be more open, understanding, but I don’t enjoy this “old new” dynamic where I must politely smile while listening to gossip, negativity, and all kinds of uncomfortable things so that the other person doesn’t get offended and stays friendly to me. How much do we have to tolerate in order to keep some relationships going? Where do we cross the line?

My Libra rising would usually do anything at all to be accepted by others, even to the point of being deceiving and untruthful, faking it if I am truthful to myself. Keep the balance, I would say to myself. Don’t go overboard. Don’t open up. Smile. Nod. Don’t debate. Be silent. Be pleasant.

I decided this time to honor my open solar plexus and my inner peace. I’m spending a lot of time alone, purging and thinking about my change. Should I be proud? Hell yes, I should! Being honest to myself is more important than having social interaction in a fake manner if I don’t want to be ridiculed, outcast or laughed at because of my job and belief system. I don’t want to listen to gossip, endlessly critique everything and have a negative outlook.

Hopefully August will bring new awareness how to embrace new challenges.